Wednesday 9 March 2005

15 Words That Should Exist

1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

3. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

4. DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"

5. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

6. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the cinema who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

7. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people manoeuvering for one armrest in a cinema.

8. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press the lift button, the faster it will arrive.

9. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

10. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

11. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.

12. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

13. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialling a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

14. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

15. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

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